life struggle, mental health, Motivation

Need to change but can’t find a way? Let me help

If you’ve had enough of revolving around in the same circular motion, wait right there and I’m going to break this crap down to a mush! I hope after I’ve mashed this unmotivated malarkey to a mush, you’ll be as motivated as a man on a mission! Have you ever seen a man (or woman) on a mission?! Unstoppable they are! One aim. One goal. One human. *One result.

*And it’s not failure!

I don’t know where to start…

I should have purchased that cushion 🙄


I hear this a lot. I see this a lot. I have felt like this myself in the past … A lot! The fact is you don’t start change with a full on evaluation of everything. You start by changing one thing. Arguably, the first change should be your mindset but sometimes that acknowledgement is hard so instead of psyching yourself out, change one physical thing. That is a bloody good start. Most people don’t change anything so you’d be off to a brilliant start already. Insert high five moment. How? Well, easy does it, simple things are always good points for lift off. You could decide to wake up earlier in the day or go to sleep earlier to aid with the early mornings. You might want to embark on a healthier lifestyle so you might add a few power walks to your week or up your water intake. Whatever it is, one change at a time will start you off in the right direction!

Eventually after you’ve physically made two or three changes, you’ll find it easier to acknowledge and feel motivated enough to accept that your mindset is now changing. It’s very hard to simply quit old habits by just telling yourself. If that had worked in the first place, I wouldn’t have had a million repeatedly boring conversations with myself!!! The only thing that worked was being proactive and physically making adjustments and additions. By doing this, my mentality automatically changed as I could see the positive results of my new found direction in life.

Make a list – tick it off

So you’ve decided you want change. The next thing is to make a small list of (short term) achievable goals. Once you’ve managed to get through your list you’ll already be climbing that ladder towards your long term goal. You don’t need to plan the 100 steps to success. You just need to plan the next step to…the next step. I know it’s very simple and perhaps it’s patronising. You’d be surprised at how many people give up because they plan too far ahead. They are overwhelmed by all of the things they need to do in the future and quit without really starting at all. We’ve all heard the phrase Rome wasn’t built in a day but isn’t it a rock hard truth?! With any goal or target, you cannot expect instant change and you cannot give up at the first sign of trouble. You will never change if that’s the way you want to live. The doubters. The haters. The judgement. The lack of self worth. These people, these judgements and these unwanted negative emotions won’t leave you be until you leave them be. Forget wallowing in the negativity, make changes now or forever keep your peace! I guarantee though that if you do not actively seek change, you’ll never be at peace with yourself! As I say, make a list and tick it off. It could be a list of three things to start off with but a start is miles better then a stationary stop. You have to add mileage on that journey to your goal. Standing still and procrastinating will do diddly squat for you. In fact, that is the same as a dude (let’s call him Jonny) sat in his car ready to road trip the country with a full sized colourful map, a couple of packed bags and a boot full of snacks except he’s actively going absolutely nowhere. Why isn’t he leaving?! He seems to be waiting for a sign, a sign from the high heavens that is, before he slams down on the gas and drives his (seven times broken down) Chevy to leave. The perfect weather and the ideal circumstances will never be. The most ridiculous thing about that kind of mindset is if he’d have heard a screeching cat he would’ve got out of the car and decided against the road trip but if he’d have found a penny in his pocket, he’d have thought it was a good luck sign. It’s completely illogical! In an unmotivated and depressed mindset, you don’t often need much to put you off making positive changes. He simply has to put that foot down on the accelerator and leave! Go Jonny go go!

(Note: I don’t know why this guy has to drive a Chevrolet and it has to have broken down SEVEN times but it just adds to the point I feel 🤣)

Don’t quit at the first sign of trouble

Some troubles are hiccups and we overreact. Don’t run at the first sign of trouble. You can make it past the first hurdle.

I have alluded to this in the previous paragraph but you can’t give up. You know, motivation isn’t a pill you can take or a drink you can glug. It’s a conscious effort to change. Shouting at yourself in the mirror or throwing cold water in your face might work a few times however, eventually you’ll get used to that behaviour and there won’t be any effect of the shock you tried to galvanise yourself with. Small changes in small increments actually yield really big results because consistency is the key. Giving up? Well, that doesn’t provide consistency.

You don’t need to make promises!

You don’t need to make yourself any promises because once you break one promise to yourself, you’ll be more lenient on yourself and not keep any future promises. Instead of looking at change so rigidly, look at it like an optional change because at the end of the day, change is an option. When you look at things through a more optional lens, it’s easier to do and if you do make a mistake along the way, immediately forgive yourself and move on. That mistake was an option too. Accept that it was a bad choice and instead, make a better one moving forward.

This below is a great video that I found super useful and eye opening about how the way we think about ourselves in the past is what we believe will be our future, and then also how that isn’t actually true at all! It’s a lot more profound and intelligent then the way I’ve just described it and most definitely worth a listen.

People can change

You have to realise that the world is a big place with a lot of people but a lot of people don’t actually change. Very few do. You don’t want to be a part of the majority in this case because the majority is prepared to settle with the second, maybe even third or fourth best, version of themselves. I can’t live knowing I didn’t try when I had the opportunities to. You shouldn’t settle either. Where there’s a will, there’s a way! You can change!

Make moves.

Move in the right direction.

Change your trajectory if need be.

Don’t let bull**** thoughts or the hater crowd control your future.

Live your best life.


Yes, this is written on the back of a bubble tea receipt and I do not apologise 🙃

2 thoughts on “Need to change but can’t find a way? Let me help”

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