Levels to good and bad decision making

There are levels to good and bad decision making. You can make many good decisions and a single bad one can spoil things. Let’s say you are allergic to a specific type of food and eliminating it from your diet has stopped the oily skin, the bad stomach upsets and the need to have to run like the Flash to the bathroom every few hours! You’d feel great. Then one day you see this particular food (in all its taste tantalising glory) at a buffet or a party and you help can’t but submit yourself to a plateful. The next day and the following week you’re dealing with the repercussions. That’s not nice. In the opposite fashion, you could make a handful of bad decisions and a single carefully considered good decision could be the start of something great. Kind of like deciding to drink more water. You might notice that you have less headaches and you’re not as hungry/craving for snacks throughout the day. Your skin looks better. You’re not thirsty all the time (obviously) and after a few good weeks of following through on this, you actually feel a hell of a lot healthier! Totally a woohoo moment. That’s the kind of change we want. The happy and positive kind!

It’s a difficult art this decision making. Nobody said it was easy. For example, let’s say your goal is to quit sugar for a month (great video here about that) and you go three weeks without even blinking near anything remotely sweet but on the twenty first day you eat three big bad sugary cookies! (I’m not really a cookie fan but that’s a whole other story. I’d probably end up eating a load of pink wafers personally haha!) Basically, now you would feel like crap. You couldn’t sugarcoat the act. It would be fair to say that it was a poor decision, however, that poor decision can be a one time thing or you can turn it into a train wreck of bad decisions. If you decide to forgive yourself and move on, continue with the intended journey and maybe, add a day on to atone for that slip in the road then it was one poor decision being cleared up with a combination of good decisions. That’s the right way to go about it. That’s the mature way to approach mistakes and poor judgments. Acknowledge your mistake. Revert to a better attitude. Focus on your initial ambition. End of! Of course….. You could go the other way. Once you’ve come down off of the sugar high you could exaggerate the poor decision and guess what?! You could give up! That’s not the right way to go though. All you would be doing is levelling up on bad decisions! That is not a route you want to take.

When you break the promises that you make to yourself, you’re devaluing your own words’ worth and that is something you simply do NOT want to do. It’s poor for your health mentally, physically and emotionally. Remember, a blip in the road can be forgiven. You will learn from it. You’ll mature from it. You’ll even laugh about it one day. Multiple bad decisions are a whole other set of muddy waters. They require a complete overhaul of your thinking. That’s when you know you need to intervene and make changes. It’s better not to let yourself get to that point. You can recover from it. It’s just a fight I’d rather people didn’t put themselves through.

Decision making

You should level up on good decisions. When you make one, make another and another. Soon it’s going to be a habit and if you do make a bad one, you’ll call yourself up on it. You don’t need your mum or your best friend to pull you up. You will be self sufficient in doing your own self evaluation. People don’t like to take responsibility and accountability for what they do these days. It’s hard to acknowledge your own flaws! It’s even harder to admit them out aloud and then actively seek change!! What’s not hard is seeing the good effect of the changes and feeling the buzz of recognising your own achievements. When you know that you’re getting a bit too arrogant or boastful, or even lazy and lethargic about life in general, you don’t want to let it get so bad that someone who loves you gets concerned and then pulls you up on it. That’s embarrassing and also irresponsible. If you’re of sound mind and of a mature age, you should evaluate your own behaviour. Not to say that I haven’t made poor decisions in my life but I’ve been doing a self evaluation since I was eleven years old! Maybe even younger. If I’ve lost my way or I’m seemingly making questionable decisions, I’d be utterly ashamed and embarrassed to let it get to the point that someone has to pull me up on it! Although, if someone did and they had a point, I’d owe it to myself to acknowledge the mistake, move my mindset back to a positive attitude and to immediately regain focus on my ambitions. Not dwell. Not cry. Not start an argument. Just acknowledge the problem, alter my attitude and focus on the ambitions.

Attitude and Ambition

This website is http://www.attitudeandambition.com for a good reason. It’s because it’s all about levelling up on some great attitudes and achieving success of our ambitions.

I hope you take something positive away from my posts but at the same time, I like to think that I don’t sugarcoat things and push positivity down your throat. I’m positive, yes. I’m not deluded though. Everyone has a specific set of circumstances and the solutions they will require will be specific to them.

I try to offer universal advice that with a little thought can be adjusted to your own life. I’m not always going to say the right thing for you, although, my intention is to do exactly that. I am a mere human human mortal so it’s not always a battle I’ll perfect. I don’t think perfection is a realistic aim anyway. Who wants to be perfect?! I like my flawed social circle. I like the fact that I can be overly competitive. I love the fact that I overthink! If I didn’t have these traits, perhaps, I wouldn’t have learned some of the great things that I have. I’m all about making good changes. I always say that you should aim to be the best version of yourself. Even that’s going to be flawed. We just have to try our best. We don’t need to be perfect to enjoy the fruits of our labour. We just need to acknowledge our issues and face them head on. Hard work will bring about reward. Just believe.

This is written in purple pen and no, purple is not my favourite colour. It’s just a nice colour. 🙃

Lack of motivation – The inner battle

Some mornings you’ll wake up as fresh as a daisy. Sure there’s the initial grogginess where you press snooze (a few dozen times) however once you commit to living the day, you’re as chipper as a kipper. On other mornings, it’s like you’ve been in twelve rounds with a heavyweight boxer except his punches weren’t physically hurtful, they were just reeaaallly demotivating. You could think of it as a video game. Two players. One aim. Both players are cursing and manically pressing the controllers so to beat the crap out of the other until finally one has the strength level diminished to zero. Of course, you can’t underestimate those in between mornings as well where your mood is neither here nor there. The thing is after you wake up (whatever mood you’re in) the decision is yours with how you want to move forward with your day. If you want to be happy Max or moaning Minnie, that’s right royally up to you!

How to get motivated?

First things first, motivation isn’t a pill or a drink. You can’t glug it down and expect instant results. Nor is it an aesthetic issue. You can’t cover it up with some makeup.

You can’t cover up the cracks on the inside like you can a mark on your face

It’s a mental challenge. Mental challenges are the toughest kind whether they’re personal, professional or social life related. Why? It’s because where mental health is concerned there’s a level of accountability every day. As you can see with the rate of depression soaring around the world, mental health is clearly something the world needs to wise up on!!! Social media, cultural expectations and constant judgement (both online and offline) are hard to get away from. You can’t just cut yourself off from the world so a solution must be found. Loneliness most certainly is not the cure. In fact it’s probably one of the main causes!

The issue is that it’s not always possible for people to help. A lot of people have their own struggles and a lot of people can’t give you the time you want. Don’t get me wrong…..Other people are great. Their support cannot go unnoticed. Although, the best place you can start that healing process is from within.

You are an individual. I am an individual. Every other freakin’ person is an individual. Humans don’t fit into ven diagrams. We are so specific and different. We have similarities too but the life we live must cater for our circumstances as best we can. I might like mint ice cream. Another person might like vanilla. Another is allergic to dairy so can’t eat it. We definitely can’t be put into ven diagrams! With that in mind, the motivation and the sources from where you will draw your inspiration from will be varied and different. The one factor that you can rely on is your ability to change your mindset. To adapt to difficult situations. To make the best decisions for yourself. Since the beginning of humankind, people have had to adapt and survive. When you are sick your body starts fighting back. When you’re scared the adrenaline kicks in. When you’re hungry, your body starts to use your fat reserves. You could argue that these are natural and innate reactions. Yes I agree. My counter argument is that this is all from within yourself. Whether you have consciousness over it or not it doesn’t matter. The point is you help you. Your decision to keep a healthy mindset and lean on the side of positivity will pull you out of the rut. It will provide motivation in ten fold for the effort you exude trying to achieve it. The results of your motivation will yield a happiness that nobody else can provide for you.

How can I motivate myself?

Think sunny blue skies and set off on your day with a smile.

It’s simple. The solution is simple. If you think of the solution as anything other than simple then it’s going to be a hard time. I’ve listed a few things which I’m sure you’ve heard a million times but reinforcing them can’t be any harm.

    Take deep breaths when you are feeling overwhelmed. You know you could even try yoga or meditation. You don’t have to join a class. There are plenty of online tutorials.
    Eat healthier and make your own food where possible (it’s fun to try new recipes, way cheaper than eating out and you know exactly what’s in it)
    Keep hydrated at all times. A hydrated human is surely automatically a happier human.
    Exercise a few times a week. Walking. Swimming. Gym. All great options. Get those endorphins out!
    Make a list and tick it off. Every time there’s a new thing to do, write it down. Every time you finish a task, tick it off. You don’t want a list as long as your arm so prioritise too. A lot of the time we mentally exhaust ourselves with the amount of things we think we need to do by a certain time. If it can wait do the more pressing tasks first. If you can delegate….. then delegate!

Obviously this list isn’t exhaustive but simple changes are the start to your journey of being able to manage your motivation. As I said earlier, motivation isn’t a pill or something you can drink. It’s something you have to manage. It’s not as hard as you might think once you get going. It’s just like brushing your teeth. You brush your teeth to keep them clean and your mouth free of bacteria. It’s horrible when you can feel food on your teeth isn’t it?! So, in the same way we wouldn’t want to mismanage our teeth, you wouldn’t want to mismanage your motivation

The journey – start to finish

Homer Simpson is not the greatest example but even he had to pay the price from time to time

When you embark on any mission to better yourself as a human being, the first few changes and decisions will be hard to follow purely because you’re not used to the new path. One of my favourite speakers is Grant Cardone. I recommend you go follow him on Instagram because aside from some great advice, he’s also a funny, vastly life experienced and intelligent guy with many great stories to tell. I saw a video of his where he was saying that “you have to pay the price” and it’s so true! Troubles come but they also go. You will adjust. You will see a positive pattern. You will be grateful for travelling through the crap later on. The tough days and the challenges are what make the sweetness of achievement so sweet. How many times do you hear no pain no gain? Now, I’m not saying that you need to cause yourself pain however, you have to survive a tough or challenging situation before you can see the fruits of your effort. Nothing comes free. Nobody can fix the inner you. You are your own keeper. You have to accept responsibility at some point or you’ll just move from one sad movie scene to another. A Hollywood A-List party life isn’t always realistic (for most of us) but happiness is. I can’t expect the red carpet to come out every time I enter a building but I don’t have to walk in with a face like a slapped backside.

Treat yourself now and again

Most of us aren’t Olympic athletes or professional sportsmen/sportswomen, or politicians or spies that need special protection. We don’t have to hide ourselves and deprive ourselves of things because we might not be able to compete in the next competition or we might be seen grabbing a juice and all of a sudden, our cover is blown! When you set a goal or target you should also set in between treats and the big treat for when you have achieved your goal. For example a third of the way through your goal you might buy yourself a pair of shoes you had your eye on. Two thirds of the way through you take yourself and a mate out for a cheeky dessert. At the point of realising the achievement, you could book yourself a mini break. For me personally, I like trying new foods and drinks so recently I treated myself to a bubble tea.

Chocolate and vanilla milk bubble tea. Verdict 7/10. Should’ve bought a smoothie.

You can make it happen

I used to think that I can’t expect anything other than maximum effort from myself. I liked the idea of being the best and the plaudits, the recognition and the feeling of accomplishment. I didn’t factor in life experience at that point. I was young, naive and pretty unaware how things outside of your control can impact you. Yet, that same energy I put into misguided blissful ignorance is now a mindset where I alleviate myself of pressure. I expect maximum effort still with a careful consideration to other factors in my life. If I’m sick I’m not going to exhaust myself on a treadmill and then come home pressuring myself to write a thousand words. It’s maximum effort with a margin allowed for off days, bad judgements and errors. Most people are their own worst critic. I am probably no different. I’ve just learned to give myself a break. As much as the responsibility of your own motivation, your life, is in your hands, it’s also necessary to give yourself a break now and again too.

Without further ado, go be the best you!

Yes this is written on the back of a receipt because I like to be authentic about my writing experience